Wednesday, February 18


Elder Bruce C. Hafen spoke in a talk linked here and addressed some common issues in marriages.
"[A] bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?”

He goes on to say,
"Every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves. 

The first wolf is natural adversity. After asking God for years to give them a first child, David and Fran had a baby with a serious heart defect. Following a three-week struggle, they buried their newborn son. Like Adam and Eve before them, they mourned together, brokenhearted, in faith before the Lord.

Second, the wolf of their own imperfections will test them. One woman told me through her tears how her husband’s constant criticism finally destroyed not only their marriage but her entire sense of self-worth. He first complained about her cooking and housecleaning, and then about how she used her time, how she talked, looked, and reasoned. Eventually she felt utterly inept and dysfunctional. My heart ached for her, and for him. Contrast her with a young woman who had little self- confidence when she first married. Then her husband found so much to praise in her that she gradually began to believe she was a good person and that her opinions mattered. His belief in her rekindled her innate self-worth. 

The third wolf is the excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes."

I try not to make these posts too long so I'll let you read the entire article if you have time. After reading this I took inventory of my marriage to see how many wolves were attacking my marriage.  
Aesop has a fable about four oxen that stand tail to tail. If the predator, in this case we'll call it a wolf, but in the fable it's a lion, attacks, it's met with only horns. If the oxen separate, through quarreling, the lion has a chance to attack from a weak angle because the oxen are alone. 

No comments: